Well this time last year, I was burying Mike. We had been been married 15 years. I was a herion addict so bad, I had already almost overdosed once. Mike had been trying to get me help for a while. We were separated officially but we never stayed apart long. Mike was scared he was gonna have to bury me. He didn’t know how to help me anymore. He had been so depressed that day he ask me for some of my drugs like a fool I gave him some. As soon as i did he died right there in front of me. I was in shock. I went crazy they had to put me in the hospital that night for a psyche evaluation. After that I was trying to kill myself I was so messed up. I was living in another world. My daughter and dad checked me in to hospital for 2 weeks. I got out I never touched it again. With the clothes on my back I left I couldn’t go home. I have been here there staying with friends sleeping in my car. I always blamed God. I hated God. In the mist of all that transpired he never left me. He always had somewhere for me to go. He always gave me someone who new what it was like to start over. He knew I wouldn’t listened to him. He made sure I was taken care of. The strange thing was on my journey there was five or six women I came in contact with that was widows. I wouldn’t let no one get to close to me. If they did I ran. I didn’t talk to my family for a year. I left them, there was some people I had been good friends with before that just deserted me all but one. This person checked on me regular. My friend got me back to God. I thank God for him everyday. I am getting back on my feet now. I realized that God had a bigger purpose for me. I am still here. God equipped me during all that I didn’t even realize it. I am very thankful for Mike, he will always be my hero. I am thankful for some others friends that took me in. Today I am reunited with some of my family. I am also a college student. I want to be a graphic designer and a writer. Isaiah 43:2 says When you go through the deep waters I will be with you says the lord.
He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning, crying or pain. For the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4
For I know the plans I have for you declares the lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.
This is dedicated to Mike, I will alaways love you.
If you feel lead to donate an offering to this organization. They hand out nalooxone to people anything can help or go to not-one-more-addiction-hsv.chedderup.com
Fast forward years I had two beautiful daughters. I was really big then .
I married Mike in 2007. We was married 15 years. He passed away this time last year. He was a firefighter/medic.
This is me now. I had weight loss before Mike died. I am digging my way out of the hole I was in. I am now a college student and freelance writer. I am meeting myself for the first in a very long time. I realized that I couldn’t rely on someone to make me happy. I had to find happiness within my self. Now I just wanna tell my story, I just hope helps the next person in there own journey. I am stronger than I ever had to be. Today it still feels like it did the night he died. I blamed God for a long time but in the mist of all that I realize he never left. He sent people there for Me. He showed me who I didn’t wanna be like and who I needed to be like. I know God still has stuff for me to do or I wouldn’t be here. I almost died twice. Thank you all for reading my crazy story. I am writing a book about my life right now also. Stay tuned…
Weekend prompt challenges:journey #transformed821 , #chainbreakers821, #journey #grateful recovering addict
As I look at my day, I always find there is something missing. There has been for a while. I recognized everything I have lost but not the things either been restored or things that I never would have imagined that have came to pass. I recognize seasons of my life as doors. Some have been shut, some was slammed in my face. There was one that I had be drug out of by my hair. The door I opened is so different. I have friends that have become like family. I have kin folks that i don’t claim as family. Family show love, they stick together. They show love like Jesus did. The others I just love from a distance and pray for them. I thank God for my circle of family. There who God brought into my life when I was so broken last year. All I can say is forgive them like Jesus did. Then love them from a distance.
Love another as Christ love you. Romans 5:8
Forgive one another as I have forgave you. collossions 3:13